


Blankets and Other Things

by Previously8



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Accidental Coming Out, Blue is not taking Ronan's shit, Comfort, Gen, Periods, Trans Male Character, Trans Ronan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 09:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5370593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Previously8/pseuds/Previously8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan is DFAB and on his period and it really sucks. </p><p>And even though he was doing /fine/ on his own, thank you very much, the last person he wants to see shows up in the form of Blue Sargent and her take-no-shit attitude.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blankets and Other Things

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time attempting to write a trans character, so please tell me if there's something problematic about Ronan's portrayal!
> 
> Rated T for Ronan's mouth.  
> There is one brief, abstract mention of suicide. There is also a fair amount of Ronan's discomfort with his period, so if that squicks you this might not be your fic.
> 
> (edit 19/05: fixed some canon mistakes as well as some stupid errors)

Ronan Lynch wasn’t unhappy. He was better than he’d been in a long time.

That didn’t mean, however, that he enjoyed being doubled up in pain from period cramps, or having his binder off because it was keeping him from breathing. The idea that anyone could come into Monmouth-- Gansey or God forbid, Adam-- and see him in this pitiful state was laughable and painful at the same time.

Both of them _knew_ , of course, but that was far from them being comfortable with it, or okay with confronting him in his DFAB Moments™. Really, they only knew because they were stubborn assholes who wouldn't have had it any other way.

Gansey was the sort of person who forgot to knock when he had a flash of inspiration. It took one time, when he thoughtlessly walked into Ronan’s room while he had been changing his shirt, for Gansey to realise. They didn't talk about it for three weeks, and Monmouth was full of painful silence. At the beginning of the fourth week, Gansey left a handmade card with "Sorry for coming in without knocking, Ronan" written on it, lying on top of a shiny new binder. It was the wrong size, and Ronan was sure to tell him so with many expletives added in for good measure.

With Adam, it was more gradual. Gansey never brought it up, but really, there was only so many times the doctors at the hospital could call him “Miss Lynch” before Adam caught on the one of the Big Secrets that Ronan kept locked tight.

(Ronan was starting to realise that Noah had probably known all along. His less-than-corporeal state made Ronan wonder if Noah had found out very early on, but never mentioned it because Noah never mentioned anything that was important.)

Now, though, Gansey and Adam were at yet another capital-C Connections Party and Noah had left to go wherever it was he went when Gansey wasn't dragging them across Virginia. The ghost boy tended to leave Ronan alone when it was That Time anyway, because he was more likely to be punched or have a book thrown at him.

Gansey and Adam were due back sometime that evening, which was not something Ronan wanted to think about. The fact that he wasn't cisgender wasn’t discussed actively in Monmouth, or anywhere else, with his friends. It was something they accepted and acknowledged, but avoided bringing up in case they offended Ronan. Which meant, of course, that them seeing Ronan curled up on his bed surrounded with blankets and whining about cramps was likely out of the question.

Miserably, he dug his fingernails into the skin of his forearm, leaving red crescents. Even that wasn't much of a distraction from the constant ache in his lower back.

A knock sounded on Monmouth's door downstairs.

Ronan’s gaze went to the clock. Gansey and Adam? No, it was too early. Noah didn't knock, Kavinsky was dead-- God. Fucking. Dammit. Blue Sargent. _Was now really the best time, maggot?_

He didn't really want to move. He didn't want to feel the heavy weight of breasts on his chest, or the gross feeling of being on his period. Wrapped in blankets at least he could pretend that his body still screamed "male" to anyone who looked at it.

The door to Monmouth creaked open. "Ronan? Ronan? Gansey sent me to make sure you're not going to die or anything." She sounded far too worried. Just because Ronan wasn't fucking destroying anything didn't mean that he was in trouble.

 _Fuck you, maggot,_ he fumed silently, _fuck you and your awful, shitty timing._

He wondered if he should feign sleep.

But no, the maggot was too smart for that. She'd stomp right in there, right in his personal space and demand to know why it was that he hadn't even bothered her all weekend. Maybe the pieces would click then and she'd scrunch up her nose like she did when Gansey offered to take her hand-- the ew who do you think I am face. Then she'd back off, saying something like "wo-ow, Ronan, that wasn't what I was expecting from you" and Ronan would tell her to Fuck Off and she would.

He would be left alone, in peace.

She stomped up the stairs, her boots' heels clacking loudly. "Ronan? You here?"

He was glad for the few minutes he had because his door was partway closed. Blue came to a halting stop, probably as she noticed his open door, before clacking over to his room to check out why he hadn't snapped at her immediately. She stopped briefly just outside the door-- the Lair of Ronan Lynch was not one that was often open to the public. 

She half-knocked before stepping in.

Ronan could tell the exact moment that Blue realised what was wrong with him. Her face was the picture of shock as she registered the heating pad, the red-rimmed eyes from crying, and then the multiple empty mugs of tea on the coffee table. The confusion was there, deep in her eyes like it was for most people. The surprise. The disgust wasn't there, but it could be just as easily.

He hated it all.

"Go _the fuck_ away." Ronan's voice was off. Even he could tell it was more raw than usual-- too much emotion from Mister Ronan Lynch, and not the sharply concealed kind that he usually propagated. This was pure emotion, the kind you didn't see behind a normal mask. Ronan was in too much pain to pull up that sort of disguise at the moment, and besides that, fuck his life.

She stepped back slightly, frowning. He bared his teeth. This was not the right time to be having this conversation-- Ronan couldn't even bring himself to move through the feeling of a hot iron placed against his lower abdomen.

Blue sighed, and took her tattered bag off of her shoulder and pawed through it with brightly painted nails. She emerged a second later with a chocolate bar and held it out to Ronan.

He didn't take it.

She sighed. "Ronan Lynch, you're a mess. The chocolate's good for you, even if it's just a placebo effect." She waved the candy at him. He glared instead of reaching out for it, so she left the chocolate on the bed next to him. His fingers itched to grab it-- he'd been living on Gansey's obnoxious health teas, the occasional beer (though his current supply was depressingly low) and toast for the past few days.

Blue spun around, and for a vindictive moment of masochistic pleasure Ronan imagined she was leaving-- but no, she'd left her bag next to the bed. Once she left his limited range of vision, he gave in and took the chocolate. It tasted like heaven.

 _What the fuck does she think she's doing?_ part of him wondered.

 _She hasn't run away screaming yet,_ another part of him said, _that's a good sign._

From the bathroom-kitchen, Blue called out, "Don't you have any Advil?"

"We--" Ronan's voice cracked embarrassingly. He cleared his throat. "We have Tylenol."

"That won't do anything," Blue sighed, leaving the bathroom to join Ronan once again. "Well, it might, but Advil is the best thing short of Naproxen that'll help with cra-- with that sort of pain."

She stood in front of him, all five-foot-nothing of her with crossed arms and flyaway hair. Chewing on her lip, she studied him carefully. Under her gaze, the three blankets didn't feel like enough to block out the world; he did his best not to cringe away from judgement. She could say whatever the fuck she wanted, and he wouldn't care, he promised himself. She could leave and they would never mention the pitiful state Ronan was in ever again.

"Well?" he growled.

"Well what?" she asked, picture of innocence.

Well fuck that. If she wasn't going to say anything, she could at least _leave_ , instead of studying him.

Ronan shifted his blankets, as though that would cover more of his curled up form as he shivered. She switched into action, piling up half-full mugs in impossible stacks and bringing them to the bathroom sink from their place on his already crowded bedside table.

"The fuck are you doing?" He grumbled when she came back and brushed crumbs off the table.

Blue rolled her eyes at him. "I'm cleaning up your mess, dumbass, since you obviously can't."

"It's not my fucking fault I can't."

"Never said it was," she snapped. "Look, I'm trying to help. Gansey said--"

Ronan made a rude hand gesture at the name. "Tell Gansey to fuck off. It's none of his business." _I don't need him taking care of me,_ he wanted to say. _I can fucking manage on my own and besides Gansey had no right to send you here_ now _, of all times._

Blue glared right back and sat down on the floor across from Ronan.

He glared more, pressing the stubs of his nails into his arm under the blanket.

A few seconds later, she offered another chocolate bar. "Peace offering?" Ronan took it.

While he chewed, Blue began to talk. "Look, Gansey didn't tell me about this, okay? I thought you were going to be piss drunk or getting ready to jump off a roof, the way he sounded." Ronan couldn't help but roll his eyes a bit-- why was he friends with that drama queen again?

He swallowed a mouthful of chocolate and looked at her. "Why are you so-- cool with it, then?" He cursed the rasp in his voice.

She shrugged. "A lot of different people live at 300 Fox Way." She looked sort of uncomfortable at that; Ronan guessed that she was expecting judgement. If it were any other time, he probably would have said something, but as it was he was vulnerable enough without inviting antagonistic remarks.

So Ronan just nodded. Judging by the number of weird psychic freaks he'd seen, it was no surprise at least some of them weren't cisgender.

"Are you-- are you transgender, then?"

Something in Ronan shrunk back from the use of the word. "Yeah." He mumbled into the blanket. Fuck this. Fuck it all. Fuck his so-called lady parts. "But I-- I'm male, right? So I'm not fucking defined by that title or some shit."

"I didn't mean it like--"

"Chill, maggot," Ronan told her, sighing and cursing his fucking time of the month big mouth, "I know you didn't fucking mean it like that. It's usually fine, anyway."

She nodded. "Okay."

Comfortable silence-- or at least, slightly less uncomfortable silence-- filled his room. The two of them sat apart on their respective surfaces. Blue was fidgeting with a tattered strip of her "renovated" T-shirt. She glanced up at Ronan, and then back down at her lap.

"If you have something to say, say it, Maggot." Ronan muttered, eyes closed.

There was another beat of silence as she hesitated. "Is it this bad every month for you?"

"Nah," he said. "Usually I can spend the weekend in my room in peace and there aren't maggots to worry about." She actually looked hurt. Ronan sighed. Fucking girls, he'd never understand them. "Look, it'd be shitty whether you decided to show up or not." He breathed out in exasperation. "For what it's worth, I'm almost glad you're here."

"Wow, Ronan was that a compliment?"

"Fuck off, it was not."

She smiled, and a small grin found its way onto Ronan's face too. (And maybe, just maybe, he was more than "not unhappy" after all.)

**Author's Note:**

> Visit me on tumblr (everythingsdifferentupsidedown.tumblr.com) to talk about stuff.
> 
> There are many lines I wish I could have added in, (mainly, Blue's conversation with Gansey) but it didn't quite turn out how I thought it would, so a lot of it was scrapped. Please tell me what you thought in the comments!


End file.
